Sometime mid last year I tried to update the WordPress software for this blog, I thought I had made a backup of the site. Well, that was not the case, the update failed, and I went to restore the site from the backup to find it nonexistent. Not only was the theme and theme settings gone but all of my posts as well. I was devastated and have tried several times to restart the blog, but I could not find the strength to do so.
Life has a funny way of making you revisit things again. Earlier this year, we (the significant other and myself) decided that it was time to move to a quieter more rural place.
We looked in Maine, Virginia, West Virginia, and Kentucky. In February, we visited Kentucky and looked at a few homes. On that visit, we found the homestead we have dreamed about. Not only did it have 8 acres of pastures for livestock, but the remaining 56 acres was all forest with a spring fed creek running through it. We made an offer, and we closed on the deal in the middle of March.
Our June move is creeping ever closer, and we cannot wait to finally settle in at the new homestead and begin our new Journey. We visited the farm about a month ago and explored the forest for about an hour. That hour awoke the pagan in me. Being surrounded by the trees, and hearing the trickle of the creek, just resonated deep inside me.
I knew it was time to share my thought, ideas, and workings again. This time I will be where I need to be to commune with Mother Earth and channel her.
So, I started digging into trying to find a backup of some of my writings from the first blog. To my pleasant surprise, I discovered a few of the longer ones. Luckily, I wrote most of my longer post in MS Word first. I will at the beginning start resharing what I had previously. I will post at least 2 times a week and have some ideas on what I plan on doing for more content, and I am excited about creating something I think all will enjoy and find informative!
With that being said, here was my first post from the old website titled “My Greenman’s Journey”.
My Greenman’s Journey
The Greenman is one of the most well-known aspects of deity in Paganism. My history with the Greenman is as long as my studies of paganism. He was the first aspect of deity that I connected with. At the time of my first encounter with the Greenman, I was living just South of Baltimore, Maryland and was struggling not just with my inner self but my spirituality as well.
I was raised as a Presbyterian and I never really felt like I fit in and thought I had to always hide my true self. The church was no place for a homosexual twenty-something man. That time in the church was a very dark time for me. I hated myself and who I was. The church and its teaching dictated that homosexuality was wrong. That my entire being was an abomination and a blight in God’s eyes.
I finally stopped going to service and that is when I truly started to accept myself and my truth. I started to heal myself and began to truly love myself again. I stopped hiding and only then did I realize that there was a much bigger world to explore.
I started to use music to help me relax and find my inner peace. I would sit quietly in my room with my headset on and listen to one of my favorite artists Tangerine Dream. I would just sit and listen for hours, letting the music take me away to a place where I could just be. It was a spiritual awakening and what began me on my journey into the pagan world.
From there I started to look for something tangible spiritually and I searched for a way to learn more about alternative religions. Eventually, I found the one place where I could find the knowledge I was searching for a metaphysical bookstore. I remembered a close friend who spoke about a store close to my home. I reached out to them, and they agreed to take me there.
The metaphysical bookstore they took me to was called the Turning Wheel. I can still remember the smell of the incense and all the wonderful things that were before me. There were so many hanging from the wall. Tapestries, plaster castings, dreamcatchers. The was also cases full of jewelry, tools, and other wonderous things and bookshelves filled with tons of books. But the one thing that caught my eye was a plaster casting of the Greenman’s face hanging on the wall.
I purchased the Greenman casting and the book “Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham“. When I got home, I immediately hung the Greenman plaster casting on the wall and placed a candle under it, turned off the lights and turned on my music. I just stared up at his face watching the candlelight flicker across it. After some time, I must have fallen asleep and started dreaming. Because that night I took a journey with the Greenman.
This is what I remember…
I was staring into the eyes of the Greenman. after some time, I could have sworn the eyes and mouth were moving. At first, I thought that the flickering of the candlelight was playing tricks on my mind. But then I heard a low deep voice come from the direction of the Greenman. “Are you ready to start your journey?” he asked. I rubbed my eyes and looked back at the Greenman and once again he spoke. “Are you ready to start your journey?” I felt myself nod and got to my feet.
As I did, the plaque started to change. It began to transform into a realistic head. The leaves that created his features began to move. I watched as two tree branches sprouted from his forehead forming into horns. As I watched the horns form, I could see the wall where the plaque once hung was replaced with a forest. I once again gazed back at the Greenman to find he had taken a fully humanoid form. He stood in front of me fully robed in the colours of autumn leaves.
As he turned to the forest he said “Follow.” and began to walk. I followed him for some time until we reached a clearing filled with stone and crystals. He said “Walk into the clearing and find the stone that calls to you. When you have done so return to me. He said” I entered the clearing. As I walked around a green stone caught my eye. I picked it up and walked back to him. With my palm outstretched I showed him the stone. “Red Jasper, this stone will be your focal point to learn how to love yourself once again.” He then turned and walked deeper into the forest and once again said “Follow”.
After some time, we once again entered a clearing full of stones and crystals. He said again. “Walk into the clearing and find the stone that calls to you. When you have done so return to me.” I stepped into the clearing looking for the stone that would call to me. Shortly thereafter a green stone caught my eye. I picked it up and returned to him and presented it. “Moss Agate, this stone will be your focal point to learn how to find your inner peace. He again turned to the forest and began to walk further into it. “Follow.” he said.
Minutes later we stood just outside of another clearing, but this time a tall mound filled the center of it with an opening going down into the earth. “Enter the mound. In it, you will find a final stone. When you have found it return to me.” he said as he turned and disappeared into the forest.
I entered the mound and found a tunnel filled with a soft yellow light. I continued to walk deeper into the tunnel and after a few minutes, it opened into a vast cavern lit by hundreds of coloured gems. I walked around looking at all the different colours when a clear crystal point brightened. I approached it and as I did it brightened further. I reached out and picked it up. With the stone in hand, I exited the mound and walked in the direction where Greenman had disappeared.
I caught up to The Greenman standing at the edge of the forest. As I approached him, he turned, and I presented him with the crystal. “Quartz crystal. This crystal will be used to energize the first two stones for your workings.” He turned walked further from the forest. As I followed I found my surrounding beginning to slowly transform back into my room. I turned around to find the plaque of the Greenman once again hanging on my wall.
He spoke one last time. “Your tasks are clear. For you to find your true path you must love yourself and find your inner peace once again. Only then will you be free to do the work that is ahead of you.
When I opened my eyes, I found the candle had gone out, the music ended, but my work had just begun.
Author
greenmanmonologues@gmail.com